Idealism and big fonts

This is going to be long. Skip to BIGGER FONT for shorter post. Below the long shit.


I have never understood idealism.

Before I start this rant, I have to describe my brother. He's my split image. Extremely competitive and hate losing. Oh, he might tell you he didn't mind the loss; but he is sure to slip in the request for a rematch. And so we compete. Like rivals, us brothers compete and fight and punch. Sometimes, it's mental. Chess, maybe. Or the poring over black and white pieces in Reversi. We had a match today, for example, where he experimented with the Japan Open in 2009 opening. It failed miserably and I capitulated on it, crushing him. And I mock. We both do that a lot. Sometimes, it carries over to the relationships I have with people around me and I become patronising.

Though that wasn't the conflict today. Today was about League of Legends. It's a game where you control an avatar with powers. And the goal is to kill the other team and rack up gold for each kill. With more gold, you get stronger with unique weapons. You win once you bust the other team's headquarter. The headquarter is protected by towers, lotsa them. The game moves slowly, tower by tower, ambush by ambush, till we crush their base. Play this game long enough and you hit the level cap. Then, you get to play a special mode called Ranked.

It's the same in theory but much harder. There are metas and metas within metas. Ambushes become more deceptive, fights become more of a single war of attrition. Everyone gets paranoid. Now, all this has nothing to do with my rant but it sets up what we argued about.

Within the game, there are roles, of course. The one that protects everyone else, the mage, the fighter, the one that roams and start ambushes. There are quite a few.

In Ranked, my brother and I got stuck playing with newbies in one game. Doesn't sounds like much, till you find out each game takes an hour. Since you know you lose from the start, it's lotsa time wasted. Quit and you get a heavy penalty. The game punishes you for quitting to prevent players from indulging too much in throwing the game. People give up easy.

It is always annoying when these players come into the game not knowing a gun from a sword. You know you have lost and you can't do anything about it.

It gets worse. These people, similar to people in real life, like to push their views on people. They want you to fight their way, to buy the items best for you, to play the avatar they want instead of playing an avatar suiting the role of the team created.

Frustrating really. It's an hour long, remember. No one likes to lose from the start and not be allowed to quit. I have hit the level cap, along with my brother- that means 800 games. I have spent 800 hours in this game in the last two years. Quite a bit.

This is where the conflict with my brother and I begin. When these newbies throw a tantrum, telling me to play in a certain way, I play it. I let them control me. I play it damn well though, and slip in advice in the progress. I become the leader without them knowing it. That's how I win the game.

My brother, though, he hates losing. To people. He hates listening to them. Tell him to play character A and he plays B. My mother slapped him once as a child after losing her temper. My brother replied it needed more strength in it. That was when he was eight.

Now, not following what these newbies say would mean the newbies quit the game. They know there's a penalty. But they hardly care. You pissed them off and now, they are throwing a tantrum.

So I follow what they say and craft it to my needs. My brother would rather lose the game and do what he feel is right than follow the wrong advice of others. I win, my brother loses the game.






But with the loss, my brother gained his pride. So which is more important? Losing something but following your ideals? Or winning by being less idealistic in general? The degree of it shouldn't matter to the perfect idealistic man. Once one decided lying is wrong, do you compare the degree of wrong? Is it even effective? Lie to save a life- that one's easy. Lie to keep a friend. Quite a bit harder. Lie to get you out of homework. Morally debatable. Idealism is hard to get right until you decide to look at it more pragmatically. To issue certain degrees to everything, fixed degrees. Lie for A>B>C. 

But pragmatism degrades idealism. Idealism exist above our love for ourselves and others. It's a higher concept we follow even though logic dictates we don't. Really, I think I am right to do what I can to win a game. A computer game, I mean, come on. Why even play it if you had your pride to take care of?

But my brother would hate it. To win because he followed others' stupidity. To win only because he did the stupid things well. Or because the other team was stupider. 

I argued, calling him a fool. But I realise it's hard to tell who is more the fool.